Day 15, but only just barely

Yesterday was HARD. I very nearly gave up, and sincerely wanted to give up in the moment. I white-knuckled through it and didn't use any of the resources I claim to use, except I talked about it with a friend, who convinced me to stay the course and make a pros/cons list to help me to decide what to do. I agreed, knowing full well that no rationally drafted pros/cons list will support eating sugar in my circumstances. Here's my list. 

Pros to giving up and eating sugar:

1. I can eat sweets as a coping mechanism

2. Social situations involving sugar are easier

Cons to giving up and eating sugar:

1. I can't moderate intake very well for very long

2. I will soon be eating more than I intend to

3. Over-consumption of sugar makes me feel sick and depressed

This is an abbreviated list, but these are my best pros and cons. It's sort of all I need to show that any rational, sane person wouldn't give up. As much as I wanted to give up yesterday, I know what is better for me. It's just really really hard sometimes. I need to get better at using deep breathing and walks to de-fuse cravings. It's strange because I know I have these tools, but in the moment I'm so narrowly focused that I can't see my other options, and don't really want to either. Today my goal is to take a short meditation break as needed. I'm grateful to have support for moments I'm hanging on by a thread!!!