Fed Up

I'm seriously at the point now where I am fed up with my use of sugar as a coping mechanism. I'm exhausted by it. And I am ready to change again. I am sick of the seriously incessant need for sugar to get me through the day. It's making me feel awful and since I have learned that I am pregnant I am constantly worried about the ill effects on my developing fetus. I am just out of my first trimester and now that the fear of miscarriage has passed I am worried that I am doing permanent damage to my baby's still-developing vital organs. 

I need to change. And I truly want something better for my life. And for my baby's life. I don't want this baby born addicted to sugar and having to struggle their whole life. I want this baby to be as healthy as possible, and to the extent that I haven't ruined that chance already, I would like to try again. To start over. 

I bought myself a sweet from Whole Foods yesterday (my favorite), so I plan to eat that today, remembering the nuances of good and bad emotions it evokes so that I can enter sugar abstinence with a vivid memory of why this is so important. And that will be my last sweet. Indefinitely. 

I need accountability if I am going to make it so I plan to tell my husband tomorrow (it's 4am now) and also my colleagues at work and my sisters. The truth is that sugar doesn't agree with me or my baby. And they should support and respect that.