Day 13, sadness

I made it through the birthday party yesterday without any problems. The cake was served with ice cream, and there were some many raspberry tarts and cupcakes and chocolate candies. I wanted all of them and none of them at once. Nothing looked particularly tempting (though it was all super cute), and yet I found myself wanting all of it. I imagined what it would be like to have just one bite, and quickly saw the escalation that would ensue and knew I couldn't do just one bite. I watched everyone else eating, their mouths stained red and black by the frosting, and felt sad for myself. There's a real mourning period in sugar abstinence. When you're used to sweet foods equating with love, fun, and happiness, you can't help but feel a little sad that you don't get to participate anymore. 

Of course, I'm grateful today that I didn't have anything yesterday, but yesterday highlighted the fact that although my cravings are mostly gone, social situations will continue to be a challenge.